Dream, by Jennifer Angelina Petro

Dream

by

Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

pool

No One was there when I opened the door after being awoken by a frantic knocking.  I stood there, afraid, and yet, by some miracle, invited No One in.  I cleared off a chair and invited No One to sit down.  I asked if they needed a drink of water.  They nodded yes.  I turned to get some water and No One started weeping.  I stopped, knelt at No One’s side, and took their hand.  No One wept like a torrent of rain.  They collapsed off the chair and into my arms.  They started to try to speak through the sobs.  I couldn’t understand what they were saying.  I caught pieces of words and phrases:  Lonely, please, it’s chasing me, afraid, tired.  I rocked No One in my arms and they wept for a long time.  In fact, Time stepped aside and let us be together for as long as No One needed.  I was grateful for Time for letting go of control and allowing No One’s pain to be witnessed in the kind of timelessness they reserve for dreams.

No One gradually wept into a deep sleep.  I stayed there, holding them in my arms on the floor.  My legs started tingling and falling asleep.  I got up slowly and lifted No One into bed.  I stroked their hair and pulled the blanket up over their deeply breathing body.  I sat down in the chair and wondered why No One had come to me.  Who, or what was chasing them?  What could I do to help?  And with those thoughts drifting through my heart like wisps of mist, I too fell into a deep sleep.

Inside (or outside?) my dream, No One had risen from the bed and stood radiant and strong, alive. I watched in awe as No One began to change their form.  Their body shifted and fluttered, lighting up like a million fireflies, taking on other shapes and forms, until, at last, No One had transformed into Everyone, and it was then I understood why they had come.  But then, Everyone too began changing shape.  Their illumination settled a bit, and their form, a moment ago like a sun that somehow fit into the space of my apartment, began to shrink in size.  As Everyone continued to distill in form and intensity, their light became focused and channeled to a specific spot in the room.  It was then I understood why Everyone had changed.  They had changed, wonder of wonders, into myself.  And yet somehow, Everyone was still there.  We were one being, one light, one heart.  And No One suddenly flickered into the room, never to be alone again. And I let myself, wonder of wonders, be embraced by Everyone, as they rocked me in their arms, for I had collapsed from the chair weeping like the rain.


 


All donations go to groceries, medical bills, and medicine. <3

Thank you. <3

Do Yourself a Favor, by Radiance Angelina Petro

Do Yourself a Favor

By

Radiance Angelina Petro


Do yourself a favor:

Wake up

Someday,

And lie by the window

From about 4 AM

Thru full sunrise.

 

Notice, watch, experience

How light comes.

How it washes over you so almost

Imperceptibly

Slowly,

And washes away the darkness

Absorbing it into itself, or simply

Taking its place.

 

Go ahead.  Be there here.

Do yourself

A favor

And watch the light

Become you

And you

Becoming the light.

 

As you do

You begin

Taking form, shape,

And shadows are revealed,

And edges, and open spaces,

And your favorite things,

And an indescribable delicacy

And sweetness comes,

Sits with you, lies with you, crawls

Right up next to you, and purrs.

 

Little by little

It touches everything,

Blesses everything,

And your eyes will adjust to seeing,

And you will be so grateful for the windows

In your life—

The clear ones

Letting in the light.

 

It will not force itself in

And yet it cannot be stopped.

It just needs

(and really, doesn’t even need—it wants)

To be

Received,

Or, at very least,

Surrendered to

Eventually,

And it likes to be received

In praise, or, at very least,

In wonder.

 

Not because it needs praise

But because it knows

You need to be praising,

For that is

What it’s doing here now

With you.

It

Is praising

You.

 

And

If you are not careful, and

Carefree,

Once the light

Establishes itself fully,

And the dawn, the morning

Comes fully,

You might be tempted

To cover your head

With the pillow

And regret doing this silly exercise,

Because now

You have to go to work soon,

And now

You will need extra coffee.

 

Just remember—

Through (out) the day–

You were just revealed

In light,

Bathed in light,

Kissed, blessed, washed,

Manifested, assembled, formed,

And loved

In with by light.

You were shown

Who and what you are

And how things will happen

On the last day,

And what it means

To be baptized

In spirit and truth.

 

And if you close your eyes while this is happening,

And just for a second drift back to sleep,

And then catch yourself awake again,

And open up your eyes again,

You will see

(Again and again)

That those few precious few seconds

Of your own self-induced darkness

Disappear

And you notice then even more now then

That more light is with you,

And smiling

New horizons

 Into you,

Into your room,

Into your mind,

And of course, it is OK, and necessary

To blink, and to rub

Your eyes, and to sleep

Just remember to do yourself a favor

Someday

Someday soon now

Why not today now?

Wake up

And lie there

As light comes to get to know you,

And

After being with

The light—

Rise, if you can,

Stretch, if you can,

Reach, if you can—-be, if you can

A trembling flower steady trembling flower fresh

In the morning glory joy dancing trembling,

And then, if you can, smile back

At the light trembling in dance to see

You.

 

Then pause.

 

Inhale the light

Right

Into you.

 

No, it will not burn—

It isn’t that kind of light—

This is light you can breathe

And is as soft as the air itself,

And that has a name—it is called

Here I Am Here We Are Here and Now We Are There Here,

And it will whisper through you, singing ever

So softly until it becomes you

Becoming

The sea

Becoming yourself

Out loud

 

Saying:

Explore—step off into your life—

Make waves, dismiss limits

Of shore and time–

You are being received,

Ushered in,

Guided by,

Encouraged by,

Enjoyed by

Light—

Light that is now

Here fully

With you, naked, exposed,

Beyond being vulnerable—

It is ready, willing, and

Able

To give itself

To you

And to take you

If you want you,

And to lift you

Lift your feet,

Kiss open your eyes fully

To see

And to kiss your mouth

To speak only clarity,

And to sing your heart mind awake,

And so then you will speak words and conversations

Of light,

And your songs

Will be light and of giving thanks light,

And you will become so onewith-in being

The light—

You yourself the I Am—

That everywhere you go

You will become a living morning,

A walking sea,

A dancing, singing sun,

A bringer of possibilities,

That you will not cannot need to own—just bestow

At the feet of the world only

To then keep going,

Touching

Everything,

Spilling gifts

Everywhere,

Being a gift yourself

Everywhere spilling,

Kissing everything around you

Awake

And into

Now here and

I Am here we are here

In and of and why here,

And yes, and see, and know, and you and

I and all of us

Moveable

Roots

Growing

Up and down

In love soil

Sky soil

Earth of heaven and heaven of earth soil,

And we will take one another’s hands like

Promenading trees,

And lift one another from the table,

Closing laptops,

Putting away phones,

And we will dance

And we will spin

Into more dancing,

More shores,

More earth

More heaven earth

More earth heaven

More sea

More dancing in the sea dancing

Roots singing too with branches swaying,

And we will wave,

And we will dance

Some more,

Leaping into one another’s arms like lovers, like

Sea shore sky lovers–

So grateful

To see one another again,

And we will never maybe ever

Touch again on this earth

And yet once

We part

More light forms

Between us and we laugh and we weep

And we sing and we know and we sing and we dance some more—

We see we laugh we grow we know some more,

And cannot help

But rejoice some more

And go around

Embracing everything

And everyone some more

With the presence of here and now

And more

I Am we are here now there here now there—

Here—

See?

Isn’t it wonderful?

You know it is,

And it’s OK to say so

While you sit back down,

Sipping your coffee, getting back to work,

Checking emails, texting emoji’s, putting on

Sunglasses and going off into your world—

It’s alright—

There is light

In your briefcase, your pockets, your cup

Of coffee, your thrumming touched and blessed holy infant

Head and heart and toes and it is so glad

You came and took a moment

As it was given

And shared it with your day, your plan,

And any weariness you may have

In your arms and legs or heart—

You were you are willing

To carry exchange light—

The light you are here now I Am with you light.

 

The light, we are here now

The light I Am we are

And so

And so

We sew

Light

With invisible visible threads

And golden needles

Soft as baby-hair,

Never

Ever

For a second

Trapping—

Only

Freeing

Opening

Wanting

 Letting

You

Step out

And into

Yourself,

Your day, your world,

And back

Into the self

Of another

Where you see

Light becoming light

And being light yourself

You smile,

Sip your coffee,

Sip each other, sip the light,

And be now here I Am

 We are now there here now.

 

And then skip a little, lift off the ground a little

In ever so slightly

Little lifts and skips

And leap a little, skip

A beat

And make

New dancing a little more

With every oceanic step and little river

Step and little drop of water step

And sweat upon your breast step, and dew upon the dew step,

And feel light

Lifting your feet

Without effort

Without force—

Just lifting—

And you

Will be born

Into your own life—

 

Therewith everyone else

Being born into theirs

As morning

 

You become sun

You become who

You become what

You become ever-

Here

There

We

Are

Were

Here

Now and

I Am you are I Am you are we are

Here we are there here we are

Here

Now

Here

Then

Here

We are

Us

Individually

Indivisibly

Us

Singing

Being sea being sky being light

Skipping

A way

And a new revelation

Begins with and

Is with

Is of with

Is of now with

In of in gratitude with

Us

For the way’s revelation of the way

The road

 The path

The horizon

That is simply

More light

That can’t wait, but tries to wait, yet cannot wait,

To be with you here now forever we are

I Am there here and now

We are together always

 

Forever

Blessed and cresting

Ebbing pausing moving touching everything

And being touched by shore

By sky by sea

By shell by stone by swirls

By castles by whole bodies

Being born again

Here now I Am we are herewith

Each other blooming again here now

There now

Ever now

In each other

Together ever

Now and

With the dawn.


flower wow



 

 

And please, if you would, I am still without an income and soon to be without a place to live.  Any donations you give will help enormously at this time.  Thank you.  All my love, Radiance <3



I Met an Ocean Who Laughs in Many Tongues, by Radiance Angelina Petro

I Met An Ocean Who Laughs in Many Tongues

By

Radiance Angelina Petro

 

 

I met an ocean who laughs in many tongues.

Every night she spills treasures from her blue apron

For those who seek in the morning, for those who look down

When they walk.  She coaxes awe and calm

From their feet by swirling kisses around them,

And if you were to pause right there in the middle

Of one of her feet-kisses—as she moves ever so slightly

Hire up your ankles—and really try to take in

Her presence–she would undress you from you,

And then, in one slow revelation, she would bathe you in you,

And ease your breath into sweet gasping,

And send her laughter lapping into your soul,

And if you have learned anything

From such intensity of attention,

Then, as you turn

To go, you will

Allow her

One, last, lingering touch,

And in her fiery, cool fingers

You will hear her laughter in many tongues

Rising passed your solar plexus, and far beyond

Into your brain, your ears, your voice,

And you will find yourself

Looking up into her partner, the sky,

Who will be by then reaching down to lift you

As you walk, deliriously singing,

Back into the world.

.

 

 


 

 




Please support my continued transition.  Thank you, Radiance <3

You and I Have Beauty to Share, A Poem in Words and Pictures, by Radiance Angelina Petro

You and I Have Beauty to Share

A Poem in Words and Pictures

By

Radiance Angelina Petro

 

 

poem image 1

 

Come.

Come take me

One little piece of pollen at a time.

Come.  I want you to.

***

poem image 2

 

Once I hid as a star,

Guarded by wisdom.

***

poem image 3

 

When I was ready

I unfolded wisdom’s spiral.

***

poem image 4

 

And allowed life’s dream

To draw me into the world.

***

poem image 5

 

For some, their wisdom will be fancy—

For there is such a thing as fancy wisdom.

***

poem image 6

 

Others bear wisdom that tightly guards–

Wanting to be absolutely sure before giving the word.

***

 

poem image 7

 

Regardless, when you are ready,

No matter where anyone else is in their stages of development

 

***

poem image 8

 

You

Will

Open.

Just like I did.

 

***

poem image 9

 

And you will say, come.

Come take me, one little grain of pollen at a time,

And you will share your gold

With the hive of the heart of another.

***

poem image 10

 

For that is why we have been planted here,

In the dark soil of the earth.

***

 

poem image 11

 

You and me–

We are meant to share the fragrance of the light we bring.

***

 

poem image 12

 

Until wisdom says, enough, go back

To being a star.

 

***

poetic image 13

 

For now, go ahead, shout your trumpets of joy,

Spread your granules of sweetness—

You and I have beauty to share.

 

 

 

 


 

 


Please help support my continued transition.  Thank you.  Radiance


Misfit of Light by Jennifer Angelina Petro

Misfit of Light
By
Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

 

 

Oh sweet seed, how you bundled into the egg with such eagerness and gusto,
Oh sweet egg, how you nestled snuggly into the roots along the riverbank of my mother’s womb,
Oh sweet soul, being of love and light, how you sped through the heavens to guide this tiny spark,
Oh sweet spirit of wonder, how you swirled and danced and unfolded a girl into the body of a boy,
Did you get so caught up in the bliss of kissing the soul
That you took leave of your senses and careened drunkenly into the making of me?
It’s OK. I am not angry. I can make light of it today
Because I am an alchemist of form, able to transmute wood into moss and salt into musk,
I am a misfit of the highest order,
I am a being of light ungendered living in a vessel that walks in genders;
I am a chalice, a holder of sweetness, shaped with a cup and a stem unlike any other woman’s,
I am a journey–star-navigated through the cities and woods with a knapsack full of fruit,
I am a sailor and the sea and a ship made of ever smoothing wood,
I am the map and the country and the treasure marked with an X and an X and another X and a Y,
I am a heavenly body and a sky full of moons and stars,
I am a noble kink in the standard protocol of the world,
And I am loved by many—enough to become an open road of freedom,
Enough to sing my way home and into bed with the goddess
Who waits to render me back into her soul of souls
Where holy darkness blossoms all things misfit into perfect garden-mounds of joy.

 

 

 

 


All donations go to my transition.  Thank you.

 

 


 


My Two Beginnings–A Transgender Transition Timeline Video, by Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

Happy New Year Lovely Readers.

I hope your year is filled with good health, fun, adventure, relaxation, and wonder.

Love to all,

Jennifer


 

All donations go to helping support the cost of my further transition. Thank you. <3

 


 



Winter Solstice by Jennifer Angelina Petro

Winter Solstice
By
Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

 

frost

 

 

My life thinking
I was a man
Froze into one long
Winter solstice;
During the darkness
Of beards and switch blades
I moved through time asleep,
During the endless
City-silencing snow
Confused relationships
Shattered like ice-laden branches,
During the deep cold of addiction
And orgasms dissociation in the ceiling
Provided momentary relief
From this mist-filled body,
In the frost-shawled grass
I stood barefoot to see
If I was alive, and when it snowed
I would drop and make flocks
Of angels to see my imprint
In wings and a dress,
Little did I know
This solstice was a Bethlehem,
Little did I know
My spirit was ripe with child,
Little did I know
Herod would have killed me
By mistake,
Little did I know
Light grew in the womb
Of my soul,
And with each lengthening day
More of me crested
From the dark bush of the dark mother
Into the world of melting snow,
And mother darkness
Became my heaven
Swaddling me in thankful,
Earth-scented arms,
And now, as I shed these last days
Of winter,
I find myself
Stepping into my life
Born fully realized
As Ruth, lover of Naomi,
As Mary Magdalene,
Lover of alabaster and fragrance,
As one of the two women
Grinding together
In Luke, only when the night comes
We shall both be whisked away
Scented in the sweetest sin,
Swathed in the most holy darkness,
And carried to heaven’s bed
Where we can bloom a Summer Solstice
Between our oceanic bodies of bliss.

 

melting

 


 

 

Thank you for kind donations.  All gifts go to my transition.


What the Cicada Sees, by Jennifer Angelina Petro

What the Cicada Sees

by

Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

looking up at tree

 

After combing through
Layers of moist earth and mazes
Of roots, the cicada nymph
Blooms from the ground
And begins climbing
Seeing only sky,
And branches
Waving: “Come on,
You can do it!” And it climbs–
Eyes on the prize, heart pumping,
Wings tingling waiting for space
To unlatch and spread,
Voice still trapped in an ever
Thinning skin, confidence
Growing with every plunge
Of its hooks–higher
Until it suddenly stops
In mid-motion,
Pauses in time and space,
Unable to go even one more step
In its old clothes,
And then,
And then it gives birth unto itself,
Slowly sloughing off
Doubts and fears,
Never once losing track
Of the heaven awaiting
And the heaven of the moment,
And the heaven of simply opening
Itself to the sky,
And letting the song it has been
Composing for years soar
Through the summer trees
Announcing to all things
The truth of transformation,
The truth that we are all
Bound to change,
The truth that even the darkest time
Spent among roots and soil,
Leads to wings, leads
To open spaces, leads to becoming
Who you really are.

 


 

 

All donations go to keeping the Wonder Child Blog afloat and to my Transition.  Thank you.  Love, Jennifer



A Life Lived With Wings, by Jennifer Angelina Petro

A Life Lived With Wings

By

Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

cicada

 

 

 

You see the opening
From which the wings
Unfurled swirling rainbows,
From which the champagne
Colored eyes saw a multitude
Of skies,
From that opening, from that
Wound that must have
Started like an insatiable
Itch, from that space
And focus of pain
Bloomed the song of summer,
Birthed a patient hider,
A thrower of voices,
A winged symbol
Of patience–stay underground
For as long as you need–
Seventeen years or forty-seven,
However long–nurse
The roots, absorb moon-drenched
Waters, cloth yourself in earth
Until your back thrums,
Until your desires turn
Into grappling hooks
And you find yourself
Emerging from your own life–
Climbing towards what you want,
Until you can say, like me,
I am the walking opening,
I am the living wound,
I am the giving birth,
I am the one with rainbows
In my eyes, I am the one
Who sings deep into the sky
The story of a life lived
With wings.

 

 


 

 

All donations go to keeping the Wonder Child Blog Afloat and my Transition.

Thank you.  Love, Jennifer



Can You Imagine?

Can You Imagine?
By
Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

 

Who would ever tell autumn leaves

They really should have stayed green?

Sure they were born all manner of greens—

Supple, minty, luminous shades;

Can you imagine a moment knowing

You were golden inside even though outside

You had always presented otherwise?

Can you imagine the terrible joy?

Can you imagine new colors beginning

To show and spreading to the tips

Of your fingers, without being able to stop them?

Imagine you were really a fire of purple

And blazing red, imagine you ingested

Bits of the sun and now bloomed orange

And lemon and vermillion,

Imagine reminding everyone of apple cider

And hay bales, and mazes made of corn fields.

Can you imagine?

Can you imagine opening enough

To include the miraculous?

Can you imagine what it is like to realize

Once you discover who you really are

That you have to let go of root and branch,

And leap into the wind, swirl onto rivers

And streams, and dance into the wild,

Blue, accepting sky without knowing

Where you will land?

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

Donations go to Jennifer’s transition and to keeping the WonderChild Blog alfoat.  Thank you.  <3