Wanting to Run
By
Radiance Angelina Petro
The day the mantle was draped on his shoulders
was the day he martyred himself with his surrender
to his own master. He dropped his life,
in utter disbelief at Sawan’s feet.
We know he wanted to run. We know
the letters he wrote, how inconsolable
he was, how unworthy he felt to take up
the task set before him.
His mind must have rattled in shock
at the sudden, sharp, shattering separation from his dreams.
From that day, he woke and worked, doing all
that was asked of him. From that day
he gilded Dera with the highest example
of complete obedience.
His heart must have trembled the first
time he climbed the steps of the dais to sit
before the thousands. His heart must have ached
looking into the frightened faces of those turned away
from initiation.
And here I am with my hobbling commitment,
yet bathed in the fruits of his faithfulness, of the fiat
he gave to the Lord to give birth to the Word
that lives in my spindrift heart.
