Reimagining Manhood, A Call to White Men With Healthy Masculinity Everywhere to Help Save Our Nation from White-toxic Masculinity, by Jennifer Angelina Petro

Reimagine Manhood

A Call to White Men With Healthy Masculinity Everywhere

to Help Save Our Nation from White-toxic Masculinity,


Jennifer Angelina Petro



Who commits acts of heinous domestic terrorism in the United States? White men steeped in toxic masculinity. It’s not people of color, it’s not immigrants, it’s not Muslims, it’s not transgender people. It’s white men steeped in toxic masculinity.  It’s just a fact.

This is not a post about hatred of men. The vast majority, I believe, of men, do not believe or act in these evil ways. That’s why I distinguish between healthy masculinity and the toxic, cowardly, and yes–evil masculinity.

It’s the task, the charge, of all men with a healthy masculinity, a feminism of heart and mind, to actively, and openly work against the toxic masculinity that commits acts of terrible, and horrifying terrorism. In your everyday lives call out sexual harassment, misogyny, call out Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, racism, the encouragement to build walls and cage immigrants, homophobia, transphobia. In a very real sense, you have tremendous white male privilege. It is largely in your hands to help effect brave and meaningful changes.

So, in any gathering of men that you’re involved in–any gathering of men–refuse to accept toxic masculinity. Encourage and educate other men in what it means to be a feminist in the truest sense of the word.

It is a traditional stereotype of men being protectors and defenders. I ask you to embrace those roles and help protect your non-white-marginalized brothers, sisters, and siblings. Speak out. Write to your newspapers promoting healthy masculinity, speak up in your groups, families–teach your sons to be defenders of the oppressed. Teach healthy masculinity. Teach your children how to use their white privilege to help the marginalized and those targeted with hate and violence; educate yourselves in ways you can be effective, brave, and powerful agents of positive changes, and then pass that learning on to other men.  Speak up in your places of worship, jobs, schools, and family gatherings about healthy masculinity.  And finally, it’s crucial to speak out for gun control.  Another fact that cannot be denied is that the weapon used in the majority of gun-massacres is the A-15 assault rifles.  These military weapons need to be removed from American society.  So, yes, in addition to teaching about healthy masculinity, speak up for the banning of assault weapons.

And perhaps most of all—keep working on your own internalized homophobia, racism, anti-Semitism, transphobia, Islamophobia, and misogyny.  This is work for all of us to continue doing.  However, the more men work on their shadows, their own inner insecurities, fears, ignorance, and self-hatred, the more the horrific projections toxic males throw onto people they hate.  Support one another in these ongoing efforts.  Listen to the marginalized and oppressed.  Understand their basic humanity and the struggles they are experiencing.  Be examples of powerful, meaningful, and enlightened change in your communities.

With all my heart–so much depends on you. It’s just the truth. The facts cannot be denied. The people who commit acts of evil violence are white, men steeped in toxic masculinity. Help change and help save our nation.









The Billy Club, Part II


“Selfishness and self-centeredness!  That, we think, is root of our troubles…We must be rid of this selfishness.  We must, or it kills us! (the Big Book)”

So how does self get rid of self?  How can a taker, a user of people, a thief, get rid of selfishness?  The AA Big Book  says God makes that possible.  But how?  How can someone as selfish and grandiose as me travel the path of losing myself in the service of others while at the same time finding myself in the pursuit and fulfillment of my dreams?  How can I break free from a seemingly endless cycle of beating myself up and then resorting to addictive behaviors in order to numb out? 

The answers were locked inside of myself the whole time.  Only I couldn’t’t access them without the keys.  And YOU were one of the keys.  I needed you.  I needed other people to help me get out of myself.  When I sat and listened to your stories I would lose myself in you.  When I tried to help you in any way I could, I was being released from the bondage of self.  In other words, when I let you into my heart, the billy club began to disappear.  Letting you into my heart has not been an easy process.  Carrying the effects of the abuse has colored how I look at the world.  And my vision was one of distrust, shame, paranoia–which brings me to another key: suffering. 

The way I seem to work is: repeat painful, destructive behaviors until they hurt too much and have destroyed so much that I can’t take it anymore.  I smash into the wall over and over and over again, and then, bruised and battered, I ask for help, seek another way—become sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Then I change.  Backed into a corner—no place else to go—I change.  And for the change to stick, I need to replace the destructive behaviors and thought processes with constructive ones, for nature abhors a vacuum.  Hence working the steps, hence working with Emmet Fox, hence playing my music, writing my poetry, hence utilizing affirmations and vision boards, hence creating this blog.  I move through fear and the billy club disappears a little more. 

Of course it is a charmed billy club and can reappear instantly, at the drop of a hat.  And the process of being released from the bondage of self has no finish line.  Working the 12 steps has taught me to see my part in what I do.  They have taught me to clean up my side of the street.  And as I began using Emmet Fox’s work as part of my 11th step, things really blossomed inside and out.   

To sum it up—self-centeredness and the billy club are inextricably linked.  As I move away from one, the other loosens its grip.  And for this to happen, I need you, I need a Design For Living, I need to suffer enough to rise up and make a change.

Copyright Joseph Anthony of the Wonder Child Blog

The Bulldog Brothers

This is just a little shout out for the rock band my three sons and their freind  Roman have formed.  It’s called the Bull Dog Brothers: . The oldest rockers are Sam (lead singer, guitar player)and Roman (bass), both 14, then there’s Ben (on keyboards), who is 12, and finally, Daniel (on drums), age 10.  They released their first song on iTunes.  It’s called, Dethroned.  Here’s the link:

You can also buy it on Amazon.  Here’s a widget for them:

It’s a great song with a great anti-bullying message.  Check it out.  It rocks!  Cheers

Copyright Joseph Anthony of the Wonder Child Blog