Worrying and Fretting


I used to take a warped sense of pride at proclaiming I was a worry wart.  I guess I figured it showed how much I cared about the person or circumstance I was worrying over.  It should be added right here, that I used to garner a fair amount of attention from being a worrier.  I would worry, fret, and otherwise get myself into a tizzy of despair, only to find myself seeking comfort in various people, behaviors, and circumstances. To take comfort is human.  It’s just that some people get to liking comfort so much they become addicted to it, and so create situations in their lives as to ensure the need for more comfort.  Life becomes one elaborate smoke screen of negative self-indulgence.  Behind the smoke the real issues lurk, like deer in the fog, or monsters in closets.

Being someone who likes playing with words, I decided to head over to the handy etymology website (http://www.etymonline.com/) and check out the origins of the word worry.  It turns out worry is related an Old English word, wyrgan, which means, to strangle.  What an appropriate use of the word! Worry strangles our Heart’s Desires.  In fact, digging deeper into the word, it is also related to an Old Norse word, virgill, which means rope.  Worry then, is a rope we use to strangle our own dreams.  It’s also a frayed, twisted rope we use to connect ourselves to negative comfort-seeking behaviors, hence destroying our dreams in the process.

And even more fascinating are the roots of the word, frettingFretting is related to an Old English word, fretan, which was used in reference to monsters and Vikings, and it means to devour or eat away. When I’m fretting away at some concern, it’s eating away my energy to think and act creatively towards my Heart’s Desire.  If this condition gets bad enough, the worrying and fretting strangle my dreams and then devour them.  These are not pretty images are they?

The solution?  Substitution, repetition, and action.  Substitute the worry-thoughts and the fret-thoughts with positive, healthy affirmations.  Repeat these every time the worry thoughts try to crowd in with their handfuls of rope.  Repeat them when you’re not worrying or fretting.  Record your positive affirmations on a cassette or cd and listen to them while you’re walking or about to go to sleep.

Going through a creative visualization and transforming your worries into positive images can also be a form of substitution.  Once you’ve transformed them then repeat their positive counterparts.

Finally—action.  It’s hard to stay really worried if I am purposefully engaged in constructive actions related to the achievement of my heart’s Desire.  Move a muscle change a thought.  When you find yourself entranced, literally under the spell of worry–move, get up.  Dance, wash the windshield of your car, take out the trash, pull a weed, something—move your body and break the spell—let go of the rope of worry and move freely through the world.

Our Heart’s Desires are too important to be strangled and eaten.  Once this happens, not only are we depressed and start that endless, empty drifting through our days, but we become victims.  And that’s the next word we’ll study.  Look for it in a few days.

In the mean time, inventory your worries and your blessings.  Once you get your worries written down replace each one with a positive opposite.  Repeat those words every day.  Use your list of blessings as affirmations, and please, keep moving. 


Part 3 of Your Heart’s Desire
arrives Wednesday, May 11.

Copyright Joseph Anthony of the Wonder Child Blog

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