Laughing is inner jogging.—Norman Cousins
Along the journey of following Your Heart’s Desire we all need a good laugh now and then. In the tradition of the Prairie Home Companion’s Annual Joke Night, I hereby declare, Friday, June 3rd, as our day to laugh here at the Wonder Child Blog. Enjoy, and please send in your own funnies. Maybe we’ll do this more than just once a year! And hopefully we laugh here on other days too, of course…But for today…It’s laughing yoga time!
He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.—Yogi Berra
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?—Steven Wright
A good pun is its own reword
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this cow before.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck.
What’s white when it’s dirty?—a blackboard.
What goes, “Oom, oom, oom?”—a cow walking backwards.
What’s the difference between here and there?—the letter t.
What’s the longest word in the dictionary?—Smiles. There’s a mile between the first and last letter.
What do you call an ice cream man in Arizona?—The Good Yuma Man.
Mr. Phil T. Hans—Soap Manufacturer
Many years ago, a baker’s assistant called Richard the Pourer, whose job it was to pour the dough mixture in the making of sausage rolls, noted that he was running low on one of the necessary spices. He sent his apprentice to the store to buy more.
Unfortunately, upon arriving at the shop, the young man realized that he had forgotten the name of the ingredient. All he could do was to tell the shopkeeper that it was for Richard the Pourer, for batter for wurst.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of his office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved away. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
Some Odd Book Titles and their Odd Authors
Downpour! By Wayne Dwops
Cloning by Ima Dubble
Handel’s Messiah by Ollie Luyah
Avoiding High Construction Costs by Bill Jerome Home
The Pain of Unemployment by Anita Job
The Tiger’s Revenge by Claude Butz
The French Chef by Sue Flay
Tight Situation by Leah Tard
There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.
Question: How did Christopher Columbus finance his trip to America? Answer: With the Discover Card.
Office door of NASA executive: ‘Out to Launch.’
Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his lorry ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
And One More for the Road
Scientists found a way to clone a bit of Shakespeare’s DNA and recreate The Great Bard. Naturally, ABC, NBC, CBS, and CNN were vying with each other to get him on their networks. When they approached Mr. S with their offers, how did he respond? TV or not TV, that is the question.
Copyright Joseph Anthony of the Wonder Child Blog