Boobs, By Jennifer Angelina Petro

Boobs

By

Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

Let’s talk about boobs–particularly my boobs. If you’re already thinking: “This is TMI”, then you might want to stop reading now. Anywho….

So, I’m growing boobs, and I like my boobs. I got a head start when I thought I was a “guy,” and had, “man-boobs.” Now I have a fun pair of boobs that I admire very much.

Up until this week I have worn a bra everywhere I go–and I loved it. I mean, I loved coming home and taking it off (especially doing the take-it-off-while-keeping-your-shirt-on-trick), but, in general, I liked bras. Mostly because they gave my boobs a nudge upwards. As much as I like my boobs I am not thrilled that I’m 50 and my boobs are forming an increasingly intimate relationship with gravity.

Yesterday I did something that I am very proud of. Doing it today too. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but for me, it is a big step in body-positivity and self-acceptance:

I chose to not wear a bra, and I went outside, shopping, etc. I just had a Pride t-shirt on and some capris……It felt SO liberating! I loved it. As I walked there was a little sensation of jiggling, and that made me feel giddy. At one point I walked by a store window and saw clearly that my nipples were proudly protruding from under my shirt. Even my bumply areolas were somewhat visible. I smiled.  I liked it.

And yes, I felt weird when people went by–several men and women looked at my chest as I walked around…and there were moments I felt really ashamed in general and felt compelled to cross my arms.

That said, as I mentioned, it was a freeing experience in body acceptance and, I daresay, a celebration. I’m very pleased with myself.

Yay, boobs! Free the boobs! Free the nipples! <3

 

 

 

 


 





Rejoice in the Body Positive, A Spoken Word Poem, by Jennifer Angelina Petro

Rejoice in the Body Positive
A Spoken Word Poem
By
Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

 

sassy me
I do not wear makeup to cover him,
I wear make up to honor her.
My makeup isn’t done on a walking cadaver,
My makeup is done on a living, breathing, woman.
I do not wear makeup to impress you or to make you think that I need it to be beautiful–
I am beautiful and I choose to wear makeup because it’s fun—
It’s part of my life I never got to explore
Until now
And it’s fun. I get to be a teenager in a way I never was able to until now,
And I love it. My body is a canvas to play upon.
And I rejoice in the body positive.
I do not wear makeup or shave my face or legs or chest to conform
To anyone’s misguided standards of what it is to be a woman,
I do these things because I like to—I love the smooth feeling of newly shaved legs,
I love to run my hands over my hairless breasts,
I love a smooth face—much easier for makeup application—but don’t think
For a second I do any of this for you, or to pretend to be a her that I’m not,
I do not do this to hide him–
He, like it or not, is still with me. He
Is my most faithful friend.
I do not hate him—
He is alive and well, informing this beauty with all he’s got,
And yes, this beauty is mine. And I rejoice in the body positive.
This hair on my face, chest, legs, arms—it’s all there
For a reason. He did not sprout it to torture me, and I refuse to be laden
With the damp shawls of self-hate any longer. I rejoice in the body positive.
This form, this face—it’s all me—so what it may not
Blurt out “woman” to your ideas of what a woman is or should be—this beauty is mine,
This body is mine and, much to the chagrin of those scared radical femmes,
It is every bit a woman as theirs’.
So what if my life as a woman disturbs you, or my weight or my shoulders,
My big hands or my jowls—this beauty is mine,
I cannot stop you from living in your lies of how a woman should look or dress or shave,
This beauty is mine—these hands, this face, these breasts—
This beauty is mine–
And I rejoice in the body positive
For hairy women rock—all women rock.
I shave out of choice not enslavement to you—not to tame the wildness–
And some days I don’t shave, some days I do not wear makeup
And the world does not come to an end.
I do not shave or wear makeup to hide the earthiness of the body.
I do not do these things to hide the way I was born.
I do them out of my own sense of myself and how I want to look.
If I grow a fucking beard again, it would in no way negate
My womanhood. This is the body I have. I could fight it,
Hate it, and condemn myself to death while still living in it,
And for what?
Today I choose to rejoice in the body positive—
These breasts, this penis, these hairs on my arms, this heart—it’s all beautiful—
And if I want to shave I shave, if I wear makeup I wear makeup,
If I wear a dress that flows like liquid wind
Or jeans and a t-shirt—–it needn’t matter to you—
I rejoice in the body positive—and send the joy of who I am
Resounding through the mindless traditions—-shattering the paradigms of what beauty is
Of what womanhood is, of what manhood is—-Come! Let’s tear off all the hoods—
And rejoice in the body positive.
Gendered clothing, facial hair,
Makeup, body parts—it’s all preposterously silly—
Free the nipple, free the vagina, free the penis,
Free the chub, free the skin and bone model starving to death,
Free it all from the constraints of fear-based, shame-based, hate-based,
Lie-based, money-based, lust-based, greed-based, power-based,
Ignorant-based, bigoted-based, false-masculine-based, false-feminine-based,
Deep shadow-based BULLSHIT—
And yes, the world will come crashing down—so be it–
Sometimes the temple needs to be destroyed
So that a real sanctuary can be built—a sanctuary for all bodies,
All genders, all colors of the rainbow and the darkness, the brilliance,
The whispered hymns and the shouted choruses, a place where love reigns
And hands explore and hearts make room, and minds open
For the fresh winds of freedom to blow through–
Come build with me.
Come celebrate the body positive,
Come love who you are and change what you want,
Come love who you are and change nothing at all,
Come love who you are and let go of the world’s expectations
Of who you should be or what you should say—let freedom ring,
And rejoice in the body positive,
Come love who you are and love one another,
Let’s dance or keep still, whatever we need,
Whatever we choose, let’s do it all with ferocious kindness,
And rejoice in the body positive.

 

 




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In Which I Buy My First Bra, by Jennifer Angelina Petro

In Which I Buy My First Bra*

by

Jennifer Angelina Petro

 

bra selfie

 

I did something I am very proud of today: I got measured for my first bra and then bought one. I went to Victoria Secret because I heard they measured you for free. I was extremely nervous. When I got there the store was jammed. People everywhere. I had called ahead and told them I was coming and that I am trans and wanted to buy my first bra, and so they were expecting me. Their other customers weren’t though and I got LOTS of stares and a few snickers (no, not the candybars–the little laughs). When the worker saw me she introduced herself (Sam) and asked if I’d like to be measured for a bra and I shyly told her yes. OK, she said, how about right here? HERE! I freaked. No, not here in the middle of the store….I can’t do that. Of course, having never been measured for a bra I assumed I had to disrobe and all……but anywho she was great and showed me to the dressing rooms and had a young lady named Cat measure me. After I was measured Cat sent me back out to pick out a bra. Two young ladies, Sam and Josyln helped me find one and some extenders and then I went back to the fitting room. There was a line this time and I got oodles of stares then, but Cat treated me with great respect and sort of hovered around me as, well, a guard. Thank goodness I didn’t have to wait too long and once I tried on the bra it fit perfectly and I cried right there in the fitting room. This was a huge step for me. Something I have always wanted and I loved it. The folks at VS couldn’t have been nicer. They, without a mistake, used female pronouns for me the whole time and called me Jennifer. The price of the bra was way out of my league but I treated myself anyway for my birthday next week. Anywho, I have always hated what I used to call my excessive “man-boobs”—I’ve had them since I was young and figured it was some sort of freak accident. I would never take off my shirt in front of anyone to go in a pool or anything and I always wore extra baggy shirts to try to hide them. Not anymore. Now I love them. They are MY boobs—a woman’s boobs. And I am proud of them. And for any of you who think this is all TMI, feel free to unfollow me. This is my journey and I am not ashamed to share it with you. I want this being#transgender to be normalized and humanized. This is the real deal. The everyday life of a newly realized woman. And frankly, I think I f-ing rock. Thanks for reading. Love ya’ll.

 

 





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*Originally published as a note on Facebook