Ray’s Rays, Number 26

Touch Yourself

by

Radiance Angelina Petro

 

 

 

 

 

Touch yourself. When people hear those two words together

a lot of their imaginations go directly to their genitals,

which is, of course, fine. Go ahead and touch your genitals

if you want/need. They’re yours. Learn about them. Explore

them. What makes them feel good? What doesn’t?

There are people like me that don’t particularly like

touching my own genitals. Sometimes this is all about gender dysphoria,

other times it’s just a lack of interest and/or libido, other times

it’s about me working through another layer of sexual trauma,

and it would actually make things worse. Other times it can be

empowering, but for me, I tend to not. Another thing

that may contribute to a lack of interest in my genitals

is my being asexual. I’m simply not interested in sexual pleasure.

I’m willing to help give that to a partner (which is totally

valid for my particular kind of being ace), but for me, I could care less

about my own sexual pleasure. It’s perfectly valid to be ace

and masturbate too, but for me, that is rarely the case.

So, the little, two-word phrase: “Touch yourself,”

is often associated with touching your genitals. However, there are

other body parts to touch, and when this phrase is taken

to mean touching other parts of your body, and should you practice

this, it can be a powerful expression of self-care and self-love, and

self-affirmation. It can be soothing too. For example, perhaps

explore stroking your arm with soft touches. Perhaps

massage your feet, your hands, your face, your legs. Touching

yourself all over your body can be like exploring a holy thing–

because it is. It can be a meditation, an expression of mindfulness and embodiment.

Honor your body with loving touches—brush

your hair, brush feathers over your arms, use various self-acupressure

techniques, like EFT; dance, touch your chest, belly, shoulders

with love. Of course, for some people the chest can be a source

of gender dysphoria, so explore what, if anything feels right.

To sum it all up, “touching yourself,” can mean many things.

Main thing is honor your body, let it sing with pleasure

and affirmation and self-affection. It is a holy act of worship

in my mind—the holy act of worshiping your own body–

and you are allowed to feel good. Perhaps give it a try.