Ray’s Rays Number 9:
Unpack for the Journey
by
Radiance Angelina Petro
Sometimes, when we’re going through
a tough, confusing experience
we say, “we have a lot to unpack,” about that experience.
What we usually mean is that there’s a lot of work to do
around sorting our emotions, thoughts, and questions–
we want to make sense of something.
Throughout our lives, when do we literally unpack?
Sometimes it’s when we arrive at a vacation
or when we move into a new place.
Either of those is a beginning, another stop on the journey.
Perhaps it means a new adventure is about to begin.
Perhaps it means a difficult chapter of our lives has ended
and another, hopefully, brighter one is opening.
But perhaps we need to unpack in order to start,
and sometimes unpacking can be tedious. It might also be fun.
On a vacation we unpack our clothes, toothbrush, a book (or books) we brought,
we unpack our meds, our reading light.
When move, it means unpacking spoons and forks,
plates and cups, books, clothes, the blender, the coffee maker,
bedding, and perhaps, even, our sex toys.
Point is—when we’re unpacking from a move or arriving
on vacation—something new is happening. And it might be
scary. It might be thrumming with delightful expectations.
Whatever it is—we’ve arrived someplace new.
Perhaps try unpacking your emotions and thoughts
about the difficult, painful things in your life
as if it’s a new beginning, a new adventure. Love
what you find in the process. Toss out what you don’t need or want.
Cherish things you discover. Make use of what you lift
from the boxes and suitcases. And yeah, it may totally fucking suck.
It might be exhausting. And also, it is in your control how and when
and why you unpack. Remember you can always pack things away again,
and that is totally legit. Perhaps you’re going to save
the unpacking until another day, or after a nice, long nap.
You do you, there is no right or wrong.
Your life is wherever you’ve arrived either by conscious steps
or by being forced into a situation because you came out as trans
and your family is being assholes, or the economics
and ravages of late-stage capitalism have dictated the move.
Whatever the reason, perhaps try and be where you are–
in charge of the unpacking process. And also, please remember
you can ask for help and support. Who knows what curiosities
you might have forget about but find at the bottom of the box?
Who knows what memories may show themselves. Lift them
as if they are holy, and arrange them as best you can in your new space.
Make it all your holy place, and you, the lighter of candles,
and officiant of the new rituals that unfold into your life.